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45+ Funny and Interesting Cross-Stitch Quotes

45+ Funny and Interesting Cross-Stitch Quotes main article image
Posted on August 16, 2021 by Corbie Kortz

Are you into cross-stitching? Are you stuck on your next project because you can’t find that perfect cross stitch saying? There are tons of great cross-stitch phrases out there and they range from funny to cute, some are inspirational and thought-provoking, some are about love and family, and some have the power to change our lives.

Let’s look at some wonderful cross-stitch quote patterns that will inspire you to get going on your next project.

Table of Contents

  • Funny Cross Stitches
    • 5 Stages
    • Good Girls
    • Oh Baby
    • The best 6 doctors
    • Dear Heart,
    • My lips are the gun
    • Perfection is boring
    • The future is female
    • Life is short
    • When life gives you lemons
    • This house was clean
    • We all deserve
    • S#*t could be worse
    • Smile
    • Funny how
    • Never do the same
    • Don’t be a lady
    • Adulting
    • Cross-Stitch
    • Dishes!
    • Don’t let the [email protected]#$%*#t
    • Don’t rush me
    • Good women
    • I am your mom
    • I can’t people today
    • I love you so much
    • I’d agree with you, but
    • Look don’t touch
    • One drink
    • Sometimes
    • Surely not
    • Turns out
    • Welcome
    • Would poop here again
  • Sarcastic Cross-Stitch Phrases
    • Behold
    • Superstitious
    • I’m an odd combination
    • Alcohol
    • Carry yourself
    • I’m sorry
    • In God we trust
    • Apology accepted
    • I do many things
    • Honesty
    • Cancel my subscription
  • Inspirational Cross-Stitch
    • It’s fine
    • Keeping it real
    • Joie de vivre
    • Home sweet home
    • Christopher Robin quote
  • Romantic and Loving
    • I love you
    • My first thought
    • Do you want to cuddle?
    • I would have stolen
    • I want to share
    • And thank you
    • In a world
    • She leaves sparkle
    • Your clothes
  • Beginner Cross-Stitch Crafter
  • Machine Embroidery
  • Conclusion

Funny Cross Stitches

Here are some funny cross-stitch sayings that’ll give you a little chuckle. These may even prompt you to be thinking of someone with a quirky sense of humor that one of these sayings would make a great gift for.

5 stages of waking up

5 stages of waking up – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance…

good girls do bad things sometimes

Good girls do bad things sometimes.

oh baby it's a wild world

Oh baby, it’s a wild world.

the best 6 doctors sunshine water air rest exercise and diet

The best six doctors: Sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, and diet.

dear heart why him

Dear heart, why him?

my lips are the gun

My lips are the gun, my smile is the trigger, my kisses are the bullets, label me a killer.

perfection is boring cacti

Perfection is boring.

the future is female

The future is female.

life is short smile while you still have teeth

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

when life gives you lemons add vodka

When life gives you lemons, add vodka.

this house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it

This house was clean yesterday. We are sorry you missed it.

we all deserve morning sex and pancakes

We all deserve morning sex and pancakes.

shit could be worse

S#*t could be worse.

smile tomorrow will be worse

Smile tomorrow will be worse.

funny how sometimes you just find things

Funny how sometimes you just find things.

never do the same mistake twice unless he's hot

Never do the same mistake twice. Unless he’s hot.

don't be a lady be a legend

Don’t be a lady, be a legend.

adulting, overrated overpriced, would not recommend

Adulting, overrated, overpriced, would not recommend.

cross stitch proof that I have the patience to stab something 1000 times

Cross Stitch, proof that I have the patience to stab something 1,000 times.

dishes we meet again you dirty bastards

Dishes! We meet again, you dirty b#@$%&*s!

don't let the bastards get you down

Don’t let the [email protected]#$%&*s get you down.

don't rush me I'm waiting for the last minutes

Don’t rush me. I am waiting for the last minute.

good women can be wild too

Good women can be wild too.

I'm your mom. Your argument is invalid

I am your mom. Your argument is invalid.

I can't people today

I can’t people today.

I love you so much, except when you snore

I love you so much…except when you snore. Then I just want to punch you in the face.

I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

look but don't touch

Look but don’t touch.

one drink away from telling everyone what I really think

one drink away from telling everyone what I really think.

sometimes I open my mouth and satan comes out

Sometimes I open my mouth and Satan comes out.

surely not everybody was kung fu fighting

Surely not everybody was kung fu fighting.

turns out I'm not an afternoon person either

Turns out I am not an afternoon person, either.

welcome to my loose interpretation of clean

Welcome to my loose interpretation of clean.

would poop here again

Would poop here again.

Sarcastic Cross Stitch Phrases

For a little more twisted sense of humor.

behold sarcastic cross stitch quote

Behold, the field in which I grow my [expletive], lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren. A sarcastic way to say that they don’t care about the subject at hand. They don’t give a f*$#.

I am not superstitious just a little stitious

I am not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

I'm an odd combination of really sweet and don't mess with me

I’m an odd combination of really sweet and don’t mess with me.

alcohol because no really great story starts with a salad

Alcohol, because no great story starts with a salad.

carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man

Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.

I'm sorry did I roll my eyes outloud

I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?

in God we trust all others must bring data

In God we trust. All others must bring data.

apology accepted trust denied

Apology accepted; trust denied.

I do many things well none of which generates income

I do many things well, none of which generates income.

honesty saves everyone's time

Honesty saves everyone’s time.

cancel my subscription to your issues

Cancel my subscription to your issues.

Inspirational Cross-Stitch

To be a little nicer, let’s look at some heartwarming, motivational, and inspirational cross stitch patterns.

It's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine

It’s fine, I’m fine, everything is fine.

just keeping it real

Just keeping it real.

joie de vivre

Joie de vivre. French, meaning exuberant enjoyment of living.

home. home sweet home

Home. Home Sweet Home.

you are braver that you believe Christopher Robin quote

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know.

Romantic and Loving

There’s no better way to show how much you love someone than with a gift that says so in these romantic and loving cross stitch love quotes.

I love you today

I love you today, I loved you yesterday, always have, and forever will.

my first thought in the morning is always you

My first thought in the morning is always you.

do you want to cuddle naked? yes or yes

Do you want to cuddle naked, yes? Or yes?

I would have stolen a whole orchestra

I would have stolen you a whole orchestra.

I want to share everything with you. Especially orgasms

I want to share everything with you. Especially orgasms.

and thank you for a house full of people I love. amen

…and thank you for a house full of people I love. -amen-

In a world full of choices, I would always pick you

In a world full of choices, I would always pick you.

she leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes

She leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes.

your clothes would like nice on my bedroom floor

Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.

Beginner Cross-Stitch Crafter

If you are a beginner in the craft of cross-stitch, here are a couple of articles that will help get you started. They are an excellent source for beginners. 10 Cross Stitch Patterns for Beginners and 10 Cute Cross Stitch Patterns for Beginners.

Machine Embroidery

If you have an embroidery machine, here’s a great article that shows you How To Stitch Out An Embroidery Design on your machine.


We looked at quite a few cross-stitch quotes and sayings. Are you thinking of all the people in your life who would appreciate one of these fun and quirky sayings displayed on their wall?

Maybe you already have a list of your own quotes that you want to cross-stitch. Sometimes, finding that perfect font for your project is a challenge. Creative Fabrica has over 500 free fonts to choose from and they are updated daily. You’ll want to check back often because there are expiration dates on the fonts, and they’ll be gone.

They also have over 36,000 Script and Handwritten Fonts that make a great addition to any project.

Hopefully, this article has inspired you to think about what you will create for your next project. There are many more great articles of inspiration as well as tutorials here on The Artistry. Or maybe you have a knack for writing and teaching, and you want to become a contributor.

You can always head over to Creative Fabrica and look around.

Happy Crafting.

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